"Immanence" by Cheryl Caesar

And anyway, why should Jesus depend, for his pleasant sojourn, on my discomfort? Haven’t already I spent my life displeased with myself? No, I will yank free this peeling keratin shell. Even a snake gets to shed its shabby skin occasionally.

Photo by GALINA BOGDANOVA / Unsplash

Today my writing-group friend said, You find

the poetry in the smallest of everyday things. Now

I sit and try not to think about my right

thumbnail, which is splitting. I tell myself

not to peel, pull, bite or even file. Don’t

get started. Just forget. But the nail

keeps reeling me in. And now

I think of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, who said, If you

are willing to bear patiently the trial

of being displeasing to yourself,

you will be for Jesus a pleasant place

of shelter. And I suppose I must be

his worst shelter ever. I am

a bus stop seat with armrests, or tilting

forward to spill a sleeper

to the ground. I am a park bench with spikes

and speakers, blaring “Baby Shark” all night,

like that awful place in West Palm Beach. Yes,

I am a prime example of hostile urban architecture.

I lack patience with the neediness

of this body, scratching at the door

for my attention. I’m tired of these nails,

the endless growing and breaking. Couldn’t

they just stop and stay as they are? Metal

would be good. And anyway,

why should Jesus depend, for his pleasant sojourn,

on my discomfort? Haven’t already I spent my life

displeased with myself? No, I will yank free

this peeling keratin shell. Even a snake

gets to shed its shabby skin occasionally. Even

a hermit crab can find new lodgings. And so

can I. Then I will take this trifling tale

and wrap it up in today’s newspaper,

like a street florist, or a fish-and-chips

truck seller, or a flea-market vendor. I will hand

it to you, friend poet, and invite you to inhale.

Cheryl Caesar is an ex- expatriate, having lived in Europe for 25 years before returning to her native Michigan. She teaches writing at Michigan State University, and serves as president of the Michigan College English Association. Her chapbook of protest poetry Flatman is available from Amazon, and her poems and artwork appear in both volumes of Words across the Water (Fractal Edge Press). In 2024, she won first prize for prose in the “My Secret Lansing” contest sponsored by the Lansing Arts Council.